To My Replacement

To my replacement,

You are beginning one of the most rewarding and frustrating endeavors around.  Currently, there are over 1100 users for you to take care of and when a problem arises you are the person they will go to.  There are days when it seems all of them have problems at once.  Don't get overwhelmed, but know that if you don't solve some people's problems as fast as they hope, they will say you aren't doing your job.  Don't be offended.  Once all is right with their world they will be nice to you again.  People are flawed and selfish, even in a Christian workplace.  Choose your allies and friends wisely, they will help you navigate this adventure.  Don't believe everything you hear about the Building 1 ladies.  They are 5 of the kindest, most generous ladies you will ever meet.  They work to make the school better every day because they believe in it, not for the money.  They are all over-qualified for their jobs.  Be good to them and they can work miracles for you.  

Be kind to Mrs. Wood.  She will be nice to you even if you aren't.  She is not only an amazing office neighbor and co-worker, but a wonderful mediator and one of the greatest friends anyone can hope to have.  She can gracefully handle teachers you want to shake.

Get involved with the kids, they are what you are really here for.  Listen to them when they talk to you, go to the things they invite you to, guide them without telling them they are wrong and always send them back to scripture.  90% of what they tell you is based on truth.  If they trust you be ready to be shocked by how lost and misguided they are.  Never tell them their coach is wrong, let them discover that on their own.  Tell them what their Heavenly Father says about what they are being told, not what you think.  You will get to witness discovery first hand.  It will take them time to sort through what they have been told being different than what the Bible says and you may never see it, but they do come around.  Never, ever give in to pornography being ok. "Life lessons from the tech office" is more than a catchy saying...be a place where the kids know they can come not to be judged, just to be loved but to be held accountable for their actions.  Be fair.  Make the kids sweep for saying offensive words.  You will hear them tell each other in the hallway "that's a sweeping word" and you will know you have them thinking.  If they tell another adult they are using sweeping words, be prepared to be disliked but stick with it.  You are building a filter in their hearts and minds.  Teach them to be obedient because it's the right thing to do, not just so they won't get in trouble.  Make the "non-athletes" feel special. It is hard for them to find a place to fit and at the end of the year when they stay behind after class to tell you they always felt important in your room or like they actually mattered, you'll know you did your job well.

You will be asked to make decisions of an administrator, while being categorized and paid as a secretary.  You will have no authority.  Choose your battles wisely.

You will be shocked at the way people are treated and the behavior of those that are exalted.  Always remember you work for God not man.  You get the privilege of leading children every day and getting to interact with every single student on campus.  Let that be the joy that brings you back each morning.  You are the sower and the students are the soil.  Plant good seeds in their soul and watch them grow because they will and they will produce some of the most amazing fruit you have ever seen.  Even on bad days, love the students, be their example and safe place.  You will touch lives and change futures...let it be for the better.

You will hear that there are only 2 ways to leave...dead or unhappy.  That is true, but know that before that time comes you will meet some amazing, wonderful, kind people if you look.  You are part of something bigger than you and are about to become intwined in the story of hundreds of children and adults.  You will see them at their worst, be kind to them anyways.

Enjoy the ride and remember John 8:12 "Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, "I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life."

A time for everything...

Yesterday, our preacher, Carl, said "it is now wedding season"...I have never thought about there being an actual season for weddings, but it did get me thinking about the seasons of life. I think about Ecclesiastes...there is a time for everything.  Most people have heard the passage that is so popular...a time to be born and a time to die...but verse 11 is what I love! 

"He has made everything beautiful in its time...no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end"  

There are times in my life when looking around nothing looked beautiful...single mom, living at home, a job that would never allow that to change, feeling like there was never going to be a time when things were good or that I would be good enough.  Then there were times when things were looking up...Cal was doing well in school, he was healthy!! but I was still a single mom and so in all seasons there was a sadness, a burden that I was not fully providing for my son.  There are those that will say (and have told me to my face) that I made a horrible decision to be a single parent.  I suppose that is their opinion and they are allowed to have it, but I know the only thing more damaging to my son than me being single, was not being single.  The day I got engaged, my sweet 9 year old came in my room and said "I've been waiting for a dad for 9 years and now I'm going to have one."  That was a beautiful and heart breaking moment and I cannot, even today, fathom what God has done in our lives from that cold November day in 2003 when my little boy began waiting for a dad to the cold February day in 2013 when he felt like the wait was over.  God has provided for us, guided us, protected us, hidden us in Him and worked out a beautiful plan for our lives that we cannot fathom.  He makes all things beautiful and even on those lonely, lost days HE was working in our lives and unfolding a new season.  Winter comes before Spring and we are sitting in those amazing days that are neither fully Winter nor fully Spring...and I am so grateful!



Ecclesiastes 3
There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

⁹ What do workers gain from their toil? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet^[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³ That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. ¹⁴ I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

Mother's Day in neon

So I have been a single parent for 9 years now. (Translation: since day 1) I have had 9 Mother's Days...they aren't my favorite day to say the least!! Being a single mom is generally a stressful job, but Mother's Day has just always seemed to light up with neon lights that scream "you're alone!!!" Did I mention it's not my favorite? But you know what else happens every Mother's Day? My sister does something to make it special. She buys flowers or a gift basket and writes "Love, Cal" and in those times I remember I am not alone. I have the most amazing family who on the day I became a mother drove to Shreveport to move me home. A family that has visited any hospital that Cal has been in and taken care of both of us when I just couldn't do it by myself.
This is my last year as a single mom and I'm not entirely sure what to expect in year 10 of being a mom, but I do know this...good day or bad I have a family that is with me on Mother's Day and any other day.
If you know a single mom...do something nice for them, you'll never know what a difference you made and those stupid neon lights may get a little dimmer.

What kind of wedding is THAT?

Since I got engaged, I have found out that people have lots of ideas and expectations about what a wedding is "supposed" to be.  Typical of me, I don't have any of those ideas or expectations.  People started asking things like what kind of cake will you have, where will it be, what kind of dress will you have, will it be catered?  My answer to all of that...I don't know, should I know that already because I really don't care. I have never been a wedding person.  I have never been a formal event person.  I love easy, relaxed, fun parties.  I love family and friends having fun and just enjoying themselves.  I love everything about backyard parties.  So when I started planning this wedding of expectation, I hated it.  I hated spending money on things, I hated picking aisle decorations, I hated looking at bouquets.  The only thing I wanted was to be married.  I suggested we have a wedding like a early 1900's fair...bobbing for apples and all.  Don't worry - I didn't win on that one!  :)

Did you go to my sister's wedding?  It was perfectly Carrie!  I want people to go to my wedding and say it was perfectly Courtney...a little outside the box, but fun!  Or maybe "I cannot believe she did that, but it's so her."  I'll take either one.  :)

Here is what I know: when weddings were more about the celebration of two people's choice to love each other for better or worse and less about the wedding, marriages lasted longer.  I want a lasting marriage.  I want a family.  I want a celebration of my choice to love one man for the rest of my life, however long that will be.  I want that celebration to be fun and to that end here is the wedding I shall have:

On July 3, 2013, a wedding celebration shall ensue that will include dancing, swimming, kickball, croquet, food, fun, a few vows and if we are lucky and the weather cooperates, fireworks.

I can hear it now "What kind of wedding is THAT?"  It's my wedding!  And I hope you'll come and enjoy celebrating life's decisions with us!

Plates and Towels and Registries - oh my!!

So I'm getting married.  There are a lot of checklists that go with getting married.  I read you should be registered before you send out invitations....seems easy enough.  UH NO!  It is not easy.  You get this printed checklist of categories....it's 4 pages.  4 pages?!?! Table settings for 8, bathroom decorations, vases, towels, blankets, and the list goes on and on and on.  But then comes the glorious kitchen section!!!  I saw bright lights and heard angels singing until the 9 year old in the buggy says...

"WE ALREADY SAW ALL THIS STUFF!!! I need an icee!!!"  

The 30 year old boy agreed and that was the end of registering.  We got it done and now on to the next hard task of selecting invitations that everyone loves and aren't too girly or cheesy or boyish or dark or busy....This should be fun!  :)

At the end of the day Jake Owen says it best:

"Just as long as I'm where you're at
I'm gonna have a real good view
I'll go anywhere, anywhere with you"

Dreams do come true!!!

There are things that you dream of all your life that you think will never happen.  Things you hope for, pray for, long for, but never really think you will achieve or have.  When those things happen there is nothing to do but rejoice in God's perfect plan and abundant grace.

Growing up, my mom took us to Old Town Spring every Sunday morning for donuts.  We would park somewhere along the street and eat before going to church.  It has always been a special place to me and I hoped there would be someone, somewhere that would love it as much as I did.  I have never told anyone because I knew most would think I was a weirdo.  :)

Today I agreed to marry someone.  He is not the man of my dreams.  He is more than I ever could have hoped for, more than I ever could have even thought to ask for...he loves me.  He loves my son.  He fits in my family.  He reads me and my thoughts like a book and accepts them all.  He is safe and comfortable.  He challenges me to do more and different things.

Today in Old Town Spring, I got engaged!  This man, who is more than I hoped for, asked me to be his wife.  He had a photographer because I love pictures.  I believe he is part of God's perfect plan for my life, and for Cal's life.

So today I rejoice in the answers to dreams that I never even had the hope of having, and cannot stop smiling about the dreams of my heart coming true!!

My cup runneth over...

Frequently, people will ask me why I say "My cup runneth over."  Well, I shall explain.  There are 2 reasons, really.  1) Psalm (or Palms as Cal calls it) 23 and 2) Hope Floats.

Psalm 23 is a very famous chapter.  The first time I really remember hearing it was at my great-grandmother's funeral in 3rd grade.  I am sure I had heard it before then, but it seemed significant that day.  It was the first funeral I had been to, and I wore the dress I wore in a wedding.  Why I remember these things? I do not know.  I have always liked the chapter though and the older I got, the more it meant.  Like all people, life hasn't always been a bed of roses and through the years different parts meant more to me than others, but over all the idea that God prepares a table for us even while our enemies surround us, that He calls us special and loved and worthwhile....oh how the blessings flow, and yes, my cup runneth over and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever!!

The Lord is my shepherd;

I shall not want.

 

He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.

 

He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runs over.

 

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life;

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord

Forever.

I have loved the movie "Hope Floats" since the first time I saw it...which was about 300 times ago.  :)  It is the story of perseverance when you think you can't take another step and of family that sometimes has to drag you along.  It has great quotes like:

"That's why families were invented- so hopelessness doesn't get the last word" 

or 

"Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. You need to remember that when you find yourself at the beginning.  Just give hope a chance to float up, and it will too."

My favorite part of the movie is when the granddaughter tells her grandmother that she loves her and the grandmother, who is not good at showing emotion, says "my cup runneth over..." and it says everything that needs to be said.

The Lord is my shepherd, He has always restored my soul, and even in the bad times He leads me beside quiet waters and my cup runneth over.  I hope you can see the table prepared before you even in the bad days because God is there, waiting for you, even when you haven't been looking for Him.