Sunday, June 17, 2012

The day you went away...

It was 5 very long (and very short) years ago that Chris French left this world. I can remember that day like it just happened...I remember the phone ringing, I remember my mom saying "What do you mean he's gone," I remember sitting in my mom's bed shaking my head as if saying no would make it not true, I remember the almost unbearable sense of loss and loneliness that surrounded me in that moment. I could tell you so many things about the days that followed that phone call. I was so mad and lost. Chris was home to me. But to tell you of his death would do nothing to tell you of his life. Chris loved. He loved God, family, friends, and travel. Chris loved his kids and grand kids. He loved me.
So much more than an uncle, he was a friend and protector. Chris loved me with a fierceness I had never known. He loved me for who I was right then, not for who I could be or used to be. When he found out I was pregnant, I can still hear the words "no matter what stupid things you do I will always love you and God will love you more."
I spoke at Chris' funeral and people would ask "how can you do that" my answer is the same today as then...it was the very last thing I could do for a man who did so much for me. When you find that person who shows you that who and what you are in that exact moment, whether it's a mess or perfection, is OK...you can never repay them. He taught me so many lessons about love, but the greatest was, it isn't love if it's conditional.
So today I leave you with this...there are people in your life right now that if they never came home would leave a hole so large it could never be filled...tell them who they are and how you feel about them. We never know what the next phone call brings.

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